This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
