I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
