the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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