I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
