i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
