I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
