I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
