I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
