We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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