Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
foreskin is a definite game changer
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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