fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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