Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
