So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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