So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize