is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
