I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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