Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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