I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
