No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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