Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
