he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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