if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
