The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
