I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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