All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Two words: blizzard sex
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
