My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
