After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
