I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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