6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
