ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
