he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
