so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
