His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
