So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Pants are for mortals
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
