I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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