he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
