When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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