but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
