i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
