# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
