You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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