i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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