Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
