Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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