Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I did not marry a roomba.
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