Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
