he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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