belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Randomize
