Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
