What did we do last night that was yellow?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
